The Psychological Gift Of Giving A Gift

By Steven Schlozman, MD

For more information, please visit our website.

Posted in: Hot Topics, Podcast, You & Your Family

Topics: Relationships

Intro music written and performed by Dr. Gene Beresin.
Outro music performed by Dr. Gene Beresin.

The holidays are, alas, upon us.

And, what usually comes to mind?

Well, we enter the frenzied hijinks of Halloween, gorge on turkey and football on Thanksgiving, and then, just as the cold and the ice and the runny noses peak, we dive headlong into the malls and the 10 zillion shopping websites, and we try, as we do every year, to get the perfect gift&#;and then worry that we&#;ll get it wrong or that whoever is getting us a gift will get it wrong, and if you feel exhausted after reading this sentence, well, then, that&#;s kind of the point, since the whole thing, just like a run-on sentence, can be pretty darn draining.

So let&#;s stop for a second. Take a deep breath.

It turns out that all sorts of studies, from social psychology to functional neuroimaging, present real and solid evidence for the benefits of giving gifts. In other words, we might rescue ourselves from the holiday blues if we stop to recognize all that the act of giving gifts can do for us. I&#;ll bet if you search through the recesses of your holiday memories, you&#;ll recall a great feeling when you handed those gifts to your loved ones. We might even keep the holidays alive because our brains enjoy giving gifts even more than our brains enjoy receiving them.

My niece just celebrated her birthday. After perusing her tastes and wants, I decided, almost impulsively, to purchase two tickets to the local Taylor Swift concert. You&#;d think, from her gleeful screaming, that I had just given her a unicorn. She was flush with excitement, overjoyed with gratitude, and, here&#;s what struck me most: I felt pretty good, too.

And then I started wondering&#;why, exactly, do I feel so good? Why, at the level of my brain, does giving a gift to someone I love make me feel better? Because, for all her whooping and celebrating, I&#;d hazard that I felt even better than she did. I actually felt a little high; I went for a long run and felt as if I jog forever. Biologically, giving her that gift positively affected me.

This is all very strange. After all, some might argue that from a strictly evolutionary perspective, I had little to gain and much to lose in buying her these tickets. I lost money; she got the tickets. Net energy was extracted from me in exchange for her intangible happiness. And still, my feeling was undeniable. I felt great. I wanted to give her more gifts.

Investigators as far afield as business and neuroscience have, in fact, been studying this issue for decades. Why, they wonder, does every culture on the planet indulge in the giving of gifts? Why take the chance of losing something for someone else&#;s gain?

Researchers from Harvard Business School and the University of British Columbia found that in the standardized assessment of individuals who both gave and received money, greater happiness appeared to rest in those who gave. Fascinatingly, one aspect of their work demonstrated that among employees who receive bonuses, those who made charitable donations with the received bonuses were measurably happier. Furthermore, that happiness persisted for a longer period of time compared to the controls.

These same researchers conducted another experiment in which people who received an unexpected windfall of money were asked to recall having given a gift in the past. They compared these individuals to others who received similar windfalls, but were not asked to recall the act of gift-giving. Those who were asked to explore the memory of giving a gift were highly likely to feel happier, and to use some or all of the windfall on another gift. In fact, the happier the memory, the more likely they were to feel happy from the next round of gift-giving. It was a big, happy circle. Giving gifts begets giving gifts, and the behavior seems to be spawned by overall feelings of well-being.

Here&#;s where the neurobiology gets really cool. Researchers at the National Institutes of Health, along with colleagues from around the world, measured brain activity among individuals who both received and gave gifts. In both cases, regions in the brain associated with reward were activated. These areas, usually fueled by dopamine, tend to reinforce behavior. When reward centers are active, we tend to try to get them to stay active. Thus, this finding suggests that our brains enjoy both giving and receiving.

But, there&#;s an added biological benefit with giving: this same series of studies found that it is only when gifts are given that the subgenual areas are activated as well&#;and, that particular region of the brain is especially attuned to the pleasures of social interactions. Giving gifts makes us enjoy each other. In fact, giving gifts might even make us like each other more than we already do.

We need to give gifts. That&#;s the point.

In this time of nearly constant horrid news, these aspects of giving are easily overlooked. But, it&#;s just these aspects of giving that are also extremely important.

Since kids can&#;t always on their own procure gifts for others, as parents, we can provide an incredibly valuable service for our children when the occasion arises. If you take the time to help your kids give as much as they receive, you are imparting a wonderful gift that far exceeds anything you can put under the tree. And, that may indeed be the very essence of the holiday spirit.

Share on Social Media

Share Tweet

Was this post helpful?

Let us know if you liked the post. That&#;s the only way we can improve.

Steven Schlozman, MD

Steven Schlozman, MD, is an assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School (HMS), course director of the psychopathology class for the MIT-HMS Program in Health, Sciences and Technology, and former co-director of the Clay Center for Youn...

With competitive price and timely delivery, Wirenet sincerely hope to be your supplier and partner.

To read full bio click here.

Founder and CEO of Packed with Purpose, where business gifts foster meaningful relationships and create deep social impact.

getty

I was having one of those days where nothing seemed to go my way. As I was on the verge of tears, my daughter walked up to me, saw the sadness in my eyes and handed me her favorite tie-dye sticker. This thoughtful, selfless act to make me feel better was one of the greatest gifts I&#;ve ever received&#;not necessarily because of the item itself, but rather the emotion and intention behind it.

Whether it's a verbal affirmation, a hand-written note, or a beautifully wrapped present, the act of gift-giving can take many forms and has the unique ability to forge a connection between two individuals. Human connection is a bond that&#;s formed when people feel seen and valued. It is authentic. It is positive. It builds trust. And it is needed now more than ever&#;in our personal lives and in the workplace.

A new study (registration required) by Airspeed and Workplace Intelligence revealed that &#;feelings of isolation and loneliness are plaguing the modern workforce, even among employees who see each other in-person.&#; However, we can combat this issue by increasing social companionship and personal connectivity which ultimately can increase employee morale, retention and productivity.

The Power In Giving And Receiving Gifts

Doing something for others has the ability to elevate one&#;s mood. Bringing this same practice into the workplace can foster greater collaboration and performance within teams.

In a recent off-site with my leadership team, I started with the prompt: What&#;s the most memorable thing you&#;ve ever received? In listening to the responses, it was clear that while &#;a gift&#; can mean different things to different people (i.e., a hand-written note, an unforgettable experience, a sentimental exchange of words), the common driving factor in making it memorable was how it made them feel.

Research shows that both giving and receiving gratitude have a tangible impact on our physical, emotional and social health&#;from boosting immunity and heart health to improving self-esteem, resilience and sleep quality, as well as strengthening relationships and promoting healthier communication styles.

When people show gratitude to others, it activates areas of the brain associated with pleasure, social connection and trust. Sending a thoughtful, personalized note or giving back to the community provides us a sense of reward and boosts happiness. There&#;s a ripple effect to all of this and the impact is amplified from person to person throughout a community&#;it&#;s a beautiful thing.

This same concept applies to the workplace. Deemed the &#;gift effect&#; (download required), researchers Michela Balconi and Giulia Fronda found that the act of exchanging good deeds leads to an increase in cooperation and even behavioral performance. Their study highlights how behaviors such as helping or comforting others not only improve relationships and social connection, but can also have a positive impact on things like our attention span, memory and problem-solving ability. Think about the power saying &#;thank you&#; or buying lunch can have in driving greater performance levels for your team or employees.

The Business Benefits Of Creating Moments Of Connection

The way we experience the world around us has shifted into a 2D experience. Daily zoom calls, constant notifications and feeds upon feeds of social posts fight for our attention. There&#;s even a rise in direct mail tactics to try and break through the clutter.

Work interactions have become increasingly transactional, and it&#;s harder and harder to create a sense of connection within our teams. The Airspeed study (registration required) notes that 88% of the C-suite say improving culture and connection is a top priority this year.

Building up relationships (with coworkers, clients, partners) can go a long way. Afterall, people do business with people, not companies. And given how much time we spend with one another, it&#;s important that these relationships make us feel good.

Acknowledging an employee's contributions with a thank-you note or surprising your colleague with an unexpected care package are great ways to bring a 3D experience back into our lives and truly make a meaningful connection with someone.

In addition to creating a sense of connection with your employees, sending a gift to clients and partners has a powerful impact, as well. A recent survey conducted by Sendoso highlights how corporate gifting creates a way for people to connect professionally. Among businesses polled, 83% of those who received a gift felt closer to the company who sent it. Additionally, the survey revealed the importance for recipients of gifts that support sustainability and diverse or family-owned businesses and are aligned with their own values.

To be most impactful, take the time to put into words why you&#;re sending this gift. I always say that the greatest real estate is the message card itself - it&#;s the chance to really spell out why you're thankful or thinking about someone, and that's the most important piece of the actual "gift exchange."

So as you begin a new year and think about ways to show your appreciation and gratitude, don&#;t stress about finding the perfect gift; instead, focus on finding the words that express why you&#;re sending it. Be thoughtful, make it personal and really take the time to show you care. Because when you do, it can leave a lasting impression on the recipient, bringing you closer together and strengthening your relationship overall.

Forbes Business Council is the foremost growth and networking organization for business owners and leaders. Do I qualify?

Contact us to discuss your requirements of GJFXTKV. Our experienced sales team can help you identify the options that best suit your needs.